I am not trying to brag. However, since I’ve started getting more followers on my Twitter and Facebook pages for “The Other Day…” articles I’ve posted, I thought I would give all of you wonderful readers out there in reader land a glimpse at the real me. Now, I would advise you to make sure you are sitting down, just as a safety precaution. Why, you may ask? Well, I believe by the time you finish reading this, you could be laughing so hard you will need to sit down. Don’t be afraid, Dear Reader. C’mon in; the water is fine.
If you have ever met me, you know that I love to wear hats. I get that from my daughter. She always encouraged me to wear hats because she loved them. She never left the house without a hat on her beautiful head. I had this Harley-Davidson hat that she said I looked good in, so I wore it just for her. Just so you know, the fact is, I don’t look good in any hat. You don’t believe me? Just ask my wife. A few years ago, I wrote a TOD about the fact that people would tell me, “Nice Hat,” when they would see me out. Not, “You look good in that hat.” Nope, just “nice hat.”
Since then, I’ve branched out by wearing many different styles of hats. I’ve got straw hats to work outside in during the summer. Then, there is always the ever-popular baseball cap, which I have many different varieties of, by the way. I own everything from Superman to the Detroit Lions, not to mention caps from the different high schools where I worked. Not long ago, I decided I would like to try something more in between the fedora and baseball hats. So, I told my wife that I would like to get a newsboy hat. (At this stage of my life, anything with “boy” in the name is bound to make me look and feel younger, right)?
Well, for Christmas that year, she purchased one of the newsboy hats for me as a gift. Then, back in November of 2021, I made the executive decision that I wanted a new “newsboy” hat. I had seen one when we were at Disney Springs, but it was out of my price range. However, on a second attempt, I found one in my economic tax bracket and bought it. I really liked it. It’s made out of some sort of brown corduroy material, and from the moment I put it on, it was “Love at first wear.”
When I brought the prized hat home, I think I had it less than a month before I had lost it. I know what you’re thinking. “How could you lose your brand new hat in your own home?” (Have I forgotten to mention how I am always losing or forgetting things in a while)? To put in a phrase that math people can relate to, my rate of losing things is directly proportional to my rise in age. Just sayin’. Anyway, I set to work to find my new hat. I went from room to room, moving furniture, searching nooks and crannies, fighting cobwebs, you name it. I mean, I was covering all the bases: living room, bathroom, dining room, bedroom, every room in the house. I even searched the car. Nothing, zip, nada! I finally gave up. I threw my hands in the air, and did what I always do, I cussed. (Not good, I know, but it’s really frustrating being me).
Now for the second part of this story. I recently had my semi-annual physical checkup. I mentioned to my doctor that I needed to schedule my overdue colonoscopy. I had waited because of my wife’s health situation. He tells me it’s no problem. He will schedule me to use something called Cologuard. “It’s quick; it’s easy; and you’ll know if there are any issues we have to be concerned with,” he said. (I wondered who the “we” was in our conversation, but that is an issue for another day). Well, I had the kit I was to use about three days later. I decided that to assist me in using the Cologuard test, I would use the adult potty chair we happened to have.
I went to the tool room, and retrieved said chair. I finished my portion of the test and got ready to move the chair back into the tool room when I suddenly saw my beautiful brown corduroy newsboy hat. It was sitting on the head of a royal blue teddy bear my wife has on her nightstand. Apparently, I had thought the bear would provide a good resting place and had forgotten all about it. That’s right. It was in plain sight for the past five months! I had no clue. But then again, as I’ve said before, I am usually clueless about everything.
Now, the first thing I had to do was tell my wife that not only did I find my hat, but where I found it. Yes, she still laughs at me, though she swears it’s because she envisions the teddy bear wearing my hat. Hey, whatever! I am just glad I found my hat! So, how about it. Have you stopped laughing at me yet? I don’t mind. I understand.
Even though I may not always remember where I put my hat, and may not look good wearing one, I will continue to do it in memory of my daughter. She loved hats, and I dearly love and miss her. I would like to think that she is looking down from heaven and smiling when she sees me wearing one.
Hey, this one ran a little longer than I planned. Sorry about that. I hope you did get a good chuckle out of my true-life adventure. MUH!!
