I was around eighteen years old when I did the stupidest thing I have ever done in my life. I recently purchased a 1970 Mercury Cougar with a 357 Windsor Engine. It was a beast. I was taking a trip to visit my sister in Alma, Michigan, which was a three-hour trip. However, once I hit the expressway, I wanted to open the engine up and see just how fast that car would go. I drove that car up to 100 miles per hour. Yeah, I know, but I was an idiot back then. I tell you that story in an attempt to show you how times change.
Forty-nine years later, it was a Thursday, and I wanted to go shopping. The weather has never been a factor in my decision to go someplace I needed or wanted to go. However, it was raining so hard on that day that it gave me pause. I was on the expressway, and the rain started to really come down. I did the sensible thing and slowed down. For the first time in a long, long time, I was nervous about driving in the elements. To the point that maybe I should have rethought my decision. But I was already on my way, so I just put the car in AWD and drove as slowly and safely as I could til I made it to my destination.
I blame my new nervousness about driving in bad weather on another incident that happened to me a while back. About two years ago, I slipped in the snow in front of my house, and down I went. I busted my butt right there in the middle of my snow-covered driveway. I lay there for several minutes until the pain subsided, and I thought I could stand. Once I finally stood up, I was so upset that I went into the house and sat shaking in my chair. I yelled and asked my family why no one bothered to check on me, but they simply told me that I normally didn’t want or ask for help, so no one bothered to check. That was true. I never have been the type to want to be a bother to anyone and always prefer to do things for myself. However, since that day, I’ve been taking less risks. After all, I am in my 60s, approaching 70 faster than I would like, and I believe all that throwing caution to the wind when I was younger has finally caught up with me. I realize that life is precious, and I know I have more days behind me than in front of me, so I don’t like taking chances anymore that might hurry the inevitable along. I like being among the living. As the song says, ” I don’t want to miss a thing.”
The Other Day…, I was putting my dog outside to do his business, and there was a huge crack of thunder and lightning. I jumped as much as my little dog did. Yes, it scared me. I am starting to believe that the older you get, the more susceptible you are to being scared of things. You no longer have nerves of steel. You are more untrusting of things. Your reflexes are slowing down. You realize as your body ages that you are not the person you used to be and can no longer do some of the things you used to do. I realize we all age, but why is it we become more susceptible to things as we do? It can’t be as simple as the amount of angst you carry inside you is directly proportional to your age, can it?
I can tell you this; my generation is not content with just retiring and watching the world pass us by. We want to do things. We want to make a difference. However, how many times do we sit back and let our worry and fear keep us from doing things we want or need to do? Maybe someone a lot smarter than me will write a book (or ten) about dealing with angst or fear as we get older. Just throwing that out for any of you nonfiction writers out there who might need an idea for your next book.
This topic has been on my mind a good deal lately. Feel free to let me know what you think. I would love to know if others out there are going through the same thing, and how you are dealing with it.
Until next time, stay warm, have a cup of your favorite hot beverage, and enjoy the rest of your day. MUH!! (102 views)
