I was watching Varian The Other Day…, and even though I never really wanted a dog, I inherited him from my daughter. That makes him special to me. I felt like he had a bond with my daughter that was passed on to me. I have to admit that I have grown quite fond of him. If you are a loyal reader, you already know that. Recently, I have realized how much he and I are alike. He is old, and so am I. He is a little rough around the edges and his fur (or hair) goes everywhere. Hey, so does mine. He likes it when I take him for a walk, and I like when he takes me for a walk. He barks constantly, except when we want him to, and my wife says the same thing about me. I am always barking and harping about something.
Anyway, watching Varian makes me think of my daughter. Today is Alison’s birthday. She would be thirty-two years old if she were still with us. She was only 21 when she passed. Sometimes it feels like forever, and other times, it seems like only yesterday that she was here, spreading her smiles. I have both a love/hate relationship with this day. I love that it’s her birthday, but I hate that she hasn’t been around for the last eleven years to share her life with me. Every once and a while, I will find something around the house that she left behind, and I’ll think, ‘Wow, I didn’t know this thing or that thing was a part of her life.’ I wish I could say my scars from her death have healed, but they haven’t. I don’t think they ever will. However, the days do tend to pass easier than they used to. My wife and I, and our family, do what we need to do to keep moving through this life, but you never really stop feeling the sense of loss.
As I was writing this, I had an idea. I’m going to search through the past four volumes of TOD and find some of the better ones that I wrote about Alison and post them on my blog page, in honor of her birthday. If I can get pictures rounded up, I will add some of those as well. You know as a writer I like to share what I write. Like the proud father who always shows pictures of his children when they are growing up, I’m going to use my blog to present my daughter to the world, sort of. My blog, crosbyscorner.net, is the only place you will be able to see these essays and photos.
The other reason I am choosing to do this now is not only because it’s Alison’s birthday, but also because her favorite holiday was Halloween. One of her favorite movies was Nightmare Before Christmas. One of her favorite television shows was Buffy the Vampire Slayer (She also loved Friends). He favorite word was Serendipity. In fact, we had that word etched on the back of her gravestone, along with the image of a ballerina. She used to take ballet/dance lessons. Oh, how she loved to dance. I am also going to place the prologue from the first book I was able to finish after her death. (I had a period for a while there where I couldn’t write anything). I dedicated it to her. In my mind, October is Alison’s month. So, I decided that it was long past time for me to pay a special tribute to my lovely daughter, whom I miss so much. I hope if you are reading this, that you will stop by my blog and check it out. I would love for you to meet my Boo.
By the way, if today happens to be your birthday too, I hope you will enjoy your day as much as my daughter always enjoyed hers. Until next time, stay safe, stay masked, and if you need to get your vaccine shot, PLEASE go do that. I don’t want to lose anyone else I know. MUH!!
