The little story I am going to tell you today is more for people my age. However, I thought it would be a lesson for the younger kids of today, to kind of give them a “Heads Up.” The Other Day…, I had had enough. I was fed up. My back; my unforgiving, uncontrollable back; my hateful, painstakingly difficult (OK, I think you get the hint) back, was at it again. Why? I don’t know. I know this, as you get older, your back finds ways to get back at you for all those times you ignored it when you were younger. What’s that? How can I be so sure that my back is starting a revolution and taking no prisoners? I shall explain.
It was about the time that I turned fifty, and I couldn’t get situated on my mattress in any way that was comfortable and restful. So, I thought it was time to get a new one, and I ran out and bought one. That thing worked for about a year, and then I started having problems again. That’s when I realized it wasn’t the mattress that was to blame, I was simply getting old. The same thing happened when I developed high blood pressure, and when I had to start wearing bifocals, my body gave me hints. Your body will too one day, young people, and I’m here to tell you, “LISTEN TO YOUR BODY WHEN IT’S TALKING TO YOU!!!!!!!!!!!”
Anyway, through the years I tried foam pads on the mattress, new mattresses, and everything in between. Then I saw an ad for a “Sleep Number” bed. I thought that was just what I needed. So, my wife and I went to their store, and they had me at “A Better Night’s Sleep.” I don’t know if you know this, but those beds aren’t cheap. However, for the most part, they work. As long as you can find your number, that is. Well, after some trial and error, I finally found mine and my wife’s number. “Ahhhh… relief at last!” However, I should have known it was too good to be true.
I have told you many times before that my wife has arthritis in her hips, and it bothers her so much, that she cannot sleep in our Sleep Number Bed anymore. Now,, I’m bound and determined to get my money’s worth out of that mattress system. Yet, as determined as I am, I can’t seem to be able to find my sleep number anymore. I wake up, and my back starts on me. Yes, I’ve tried to adjust it. First, I concentrated on my side of the bed. Then, I thought maybe it wasn’t right because I had to adjust the other side. Since there was only one person using it now, perhaps it needed someone or something on the other side again.
Enter the dog! I put him on the other side of the bed. He only weighs about 13 pounds, so I didn’t really see a change. (Oh, stop laughing). Then I placed heavier blankets on the other side of the bed to compensate for the weight difference, but the only thing that did was give the dog a more comfortable place to sleep. (Again, stop laughing). Lately, I’ve had success with putting the other side’s settings at ten units less than mine. (I don’t know how much each unit is worth). I have been getting up feeling a little better. However, I still have to use the heating pad and this other massaging thing to get my back up and running in the morning. Maybe it’s telling me to stop worrying so much about my sleep number and remember the number of years I have put on my body. What do you think?
I figure this is about where I should stop complaining, right? Hey, if my pain brings a smile to your face in the morning, well, at this time in my life, I consider that pretty good. I want you all to have a good day. If any of you have any ideas on how I can make my sleep experience any better, please let me know. No idea is too far out there for me to consider at this point. Remember, I’m the guy who used a 13-pound Yorkie to try and compensate for my partner. That should tell you something. Until next time, MUH!!
