Here I sit, on October 4, remembering my daughter on her birthday. I have always tried to dress up on this day by wearing a nice shirt and the “Sponge Bob” tie that Alison bought me all those years ago. My wife, who, unfortunately, has to work today, is getting ready to leave, and all I can think to do is hug her and tell her that while this is such a sad day for us, it is also a day we should be rejoicing because our little girl brought so much joy and happiness to our lives. Though there are days that are extremely difficult to get through, the memories can bring joy as well as sadness. I just have to mention the one thing that I can’t stop thinking about today.
Alison had this thing that she did when she wanted to bring humor into a neutral situation that keeps banging in my brain today. She would sit and let you explain yourself to her, putting yourself on the line by explaining every little detail about whatever you were talking about. Then, once you were finished, she would answer you in the lowest voice she could find and say, “Uh-Huh!” It was as if she didn’t believe a word you had just said. The person, usually me, would answer her response with a rebuttal, and she would respond with even more attitude and, again, say, “Uh-Huh.” By this time, she knew you were frustrated, and she would be smiling that wonderful Alison smile of hers that you couldn’t help but love, and you’d just give up, and give in to her charms.
Today, I have plans to go visit her gravesite and decorate it for Halloween. It was, by far, her favorite holiday that we celebrated. When we first started decorating her gravestone for Halloween, it was suggested that my wife and I were being highly inappropriate. If our daughter was alive, she would simply say to our detractors, “Uh-Huh.” So, I will go there this morning and gussy up her headstone while she is watching from up above, and then I will take a step back and look at everything I have done to make sure it looks all right and wait for her “Uh-Huh” to be inferred. I hope she will like this year’s version of her Halloween stone. We have actually toned it down a bit; not because we wanted to, but because someone else has liked her decorations so much they have taken them in the past. While that is upsetting, I’m sure that my daughter knows who did it and is giving them a big, hairy “Uh-Huh,” on their way out of the grave yard.
In The Other Day…#7 “Hugs” post, I wrote about our daughter’s death and how one of the things I really miss is her hugs. While I’m not going to post it here, I would invite all of you to remember that our family truly believes in the power of hugs. And, while today is hard for everyone who knew her, I also know that she would be giving us a big, wild-eyed, “Uh-Huh,” if we didn’t encourage everyone to take a minute to remember our little girl. Then, offer someone you love a hug. Even though she is not with us today, I am sure she is celebrating her birthday with all those people who have gone before us and hugging each and every one of them. Until next time, Happy Birthday, Boo. We love and miss you more and more every day
