In the Southern Hemisphere, to the east of the southern tip of Argentina lie the Falkland Islands. Located on one of these islands is a large flock of Chilean flamingos. In this herd, there lived a particular flamingo that went by the name of Flossie.
Throughout her life, she had picked up the nickname of Flawless Flossie because, compared to the other flamingos, she had very few faults. She was always prim and proper. There was never a feather out of place. Her beak was kept clean and shiny. She was flawless, and she knew it, thus her nickname.
The longer she stayed with this flock, the more she protected her mantle by mentioning the imperf ections of others in the group of flamingoes. “This one’s too tall. That one’s too short. Those over there are too fat. These here are too thin.” On and on she went until she had commented on almost every member of the flock. However, the king and queen of their flock had a daughter, Princess Dianna, and she was beautiful. Many members of the flock thought she was just as flawless as Flossie. Word of Princess Dianna reached Flossy, who was outraged by the fact that anyone could be considered as perfect as she. “Where is she? I want to meet this Princess Dianna and judge for myself just how perfect she is.
“It just so happens,” Peaches, a plump flamingo, said, “the princess will be visiting us tomorrow. Maybe you will meet her.”
“I’ll make sure of it,” Flossie snapped.
The next day the Royal family showed up on the edge of their known kingdom, called the fringe, looking regal and authoritarian. Whenever royalty visited the outskirts of the flamingo realm, the birds that lived there would be put on display. On this day, members of the flock were going to perform the wing salute. This involved stretching their wings out to show the contrast of colors while the tail is cocked and their necks are stretched.
When Princess Diana saw the flamingoes lining up for their presentation, she went to her father and asked, “Daddy, may I perform with the line?”
The king looked at members of the line and, seeing no threat to his daughter, said, “Of course.”
This group of line performers practiced their displays every day; therefore, allowing a stranger to perform with them made the line nervous, but no one would refuse the royal family.
Because she was flawless in her performance, Flossie was put right in the middle of the line, and as fate would have it, the Princess stood right next to her.
All through the performance, Flossie kept a close eye on the princess, looking for that one flaw making her inferior. However, no matter how hard she craned her neck to find something, she saw nothing. Within a few minutes, the performance was over, and the flamingoes watching squawked and honked in support.
Flossie had given up any hopes of finding a flaw in the princess. When it was time for the line of performers to bow in recognition of the support from the crowd, she hung her head in defeat because she was no longer the only flawless member of the flock.
As she bowed her head, she spied the one thing that would make her day. “Mud,” she squawked. “Mud, the Princess has mud on her foot.”
The crowd started to rumble and look down at the princess’s ankle to find a small speck of mud on it. The entire group of birds began to squawk and flap their feathers in a frenzy.
Once the flock had calmed down, the embarrassed princess ran to the king and queen. With tears in her eyes, she lamented, “I have embarrassed the family and the flock by my performance here today, Father. I will leave as to bring no further shame to our family.”
“It was just mud,” the king replied.
However, it had been mud found on her during a performance for the royal family. Something had to be done. Since every member of the flock knew that, after a few moments, the princess took to the sky and flew away in shame.
The flock stood and watched until Diana was out of sight. All eyes then turned to Flossie. “What?” she asked.
Someone said, “She was the princess, and you should have ignored the mud.” Others of the flock squawked in agreement.
“She was young. She would have learned,” someone else said.
Finally, it was Peaches who stated the obvious: “Seems like you truly are the only flawless member of the flock now, Flossie.” With that, all the members, led by the king and queen, turned their backs on the perfect flamingo and walked away.
+++++
A booming voice ordered, “Flossie, wake up.”
Her head was lying on a large flat stone, which protruded from the water. Weak from hunger, the female flamingo mumbled something and then was silent.
“Flossie, if you move your head to the right, there is some food. Eat it.”
Blinking her eyes several times to get them into focus, the once beautiful bird saw the food in front of her beak and moved to eat it.
While she was eating, the voice said, “That’s good. I’ll bring you some more food later. You just keep eating, gain your strength, and we’ll talk once you get your strength back.”
It was several days, and several meals on the stone before Flossie could raise her head. It was a few more days after that until she finally had the strength to stand. She watched each day as an average-looking male flamingo brought her meals so she could build up her strength. They spoke little just to say hello. Eventually, she had built the power to begin to clean herself for the first time in several months.
As she did so, the male flamingo who was helping her began to clean the dirt and muck from around her long legs. “What are you doing?” she snapped.
“You’re still weak,” he said, while he continued to clean her.
“Who are you?” she asked.
“I’m Joe. My full name is Ordinary Joe, but my friends call me Joe.”
“I’m not your friend, Mr. Ordinary, whoever,” She snapped.
“I know that, Flossie. You can call me whatever you like.” He continued to ignore her questions and clean her.
“Stop that,” she insisted. “Tell me, why are you helping me? Can’t you see that everyone ignores me since, well, since…”
“I wanted to meet Fearless Flossie,” he raised his head long enough to say the words, then went back to work.
She took two steps away from him and questioned, “Fearless Flossie? The only name I’ve ever heard was Flawless Flossie because I’m perfect. Where did you hear someone call me Fearless?”
He stepped toward her and spoke while reaching down for her legs again, “Well, actually, I call you that. You don’t look so flawless now,” but before he could start cleaning, she moved two steps back again.
“Are you making fun of me?”
“Anyone who would take on the royal family has to be fearless.”
“Well, I’m not fearless, I’m Flawless, and I would appreciate it if you would leave me alone. I’m fine, and I can take care of myself.” She turned and started to walk away.
“You were tricked, you know!”
She turned and asked, “What?”
“You were tricked. Princess Diana was miserable. She didn’t want to be with the royal family, so she purposely put that mud on her ankle. She knew that Flawless Flossie would find it and raise a stink about it. You were her way out. She got to spread her wings a little. You did her a favor.”
Flossie couldn’t believe she could be tricked so successfully. After all, she was perfect. “How do you know this?” she questioned the scrawny-looking bird standing in front of her.
“She flew to the flock I was hanging with and told the whole story. I asked her if she had stuck around to make sure nothing happened to you, and she said she wasn’t going back until she was darn good and ready. I thought I had better return and check on you. I’m glad I did. You were almost dead when I first arrived.”
Flossie was angry and blurted out the first words she could think of. “Do you realize the things that the princess put me through? The flock ostracized me! They wouldn’t let me get to the food sources. They wouldn’t talk to me. And worst of all, I’ve lost my looks.”
“I know,” the male said. “That’s why I’m here to help you regain your stature with the flock.”
“You, I don’t need you. I can get back everything I’ve lost back on my own. You! Look at you. You’re unkempt and sloppy, your legs are caked in mud, your beak has no luster, and your feathers are anything but well-kept. Why should I even talk to you?”
“Perhaps you’re right,” Joe replied. “However, I think I’ll stay with this flock long enough for you to get in their good graces, and then I’ll be gone.”
“That suits me fine,” she snapped.
“Flossie?”
“What?”
“Do you want to thank me for saving your life?”
She continued to walk away, then stopped long enough to uncomfortably say, “Thank you.”
“Think nothing of it,” Joe said as he smiled and walked toward the rest of the flock.
+++++
Throughout the next few months, Joe continued to help Flossie in getting back in the good graces of the flock. He escorted her the first time she went to feed with the others, made sure she would be safe, and then left her to socialize with her friends. He explained to the flock about Princess Diana and how he found out about everything. The members of the congregation who lived on the fringe forgave all. Flossie was amazed that Joe seemed to know everyone, and everyone knew him. If he didn’t know someone, it was just a matter of moments before he would be striking up a conversation with the other birds about something they had in common.
Meanwhile, Flossie continued to do what flamingoes do best. She ate to regain her strength, preened, and worked on the dance displays that all birds of her kind were famous for. She liked having Joe around because he made her feel comfortable.
One day after practice, Joe walked up to her and said, “Well, old girl, it looks like you’re all better. I guess I’ll be leaving soon.”
She craned her neck until they were beak to beak, then squawked, “What? You can’t go. I don’t think I’m strong enough yet.”
“You’re plenty strong enough.”
“I’ve never had anyone watch over me before.” She lowered her neck so he could look deep into her black eyes. “Won’t you stay just a little longer?”
“But you’re Flawless Flossie,” he said as he stifled a laugh.
“Why do you keep saying that? You know you could do with a little cleaning up. You’re not perfect.”
“Do you want me to stay?” he asked, inching closer to her beak. “You know, Flossie, we flamingoes mate for life. If you ask me to stay, I will.”
“What??” She was outraged. She honked and flapped her wings. “What makes you think I want to spend the rest of my life with you? Look at me, I’m perfect, I’m flawless. Then, look at you. When was the last time you preened yourself? You never clean your legs or any other part of yourself. What makes you think that I would want to spend the rest of my life with you?”
She had backed away from him; therefore, he moved closer so that only she could hear his words, “You see, Flossie, that’s your one mistake. Your biggest flaw is that you think in this whole wide universe that you are actually flawless.”
This time it was Joe who turned and started to walk away from her. Suddenly he stopped and said, “I don’t know if you know it or not, but the princess has returned, and the royal family is paying a visit here tomorrow. I haven’t seen them in a long time, so I’ll stay long enough to pay my respects, and then I’ll leave.” With that, the scruffy-looking flamingo walked away.
All that night, Flossie could only think about Joe leaving. She really did like him, but the way he looked, she didn’t know if she could tolerate him forever. However, he did save her life, and he did look after her until she became well. Even though he wasn’t the most handsome bird in the flock, her feelings were real. He had grown on her, she had never depended on anyone before for anything, not like this time. Her mind was made up, she would ask him to stay and be her mate, no matter how he looked.
The next morning the flock was aflutter. The royal family was coming to the fringe to visit once again. “Good morning, Flossie,” a familiar voice spoke from behind her.
When she turned to look, it was the most handsome male flamingo she had ever seen. “Joe? Is that you?”
“Yes, it is.” The now strong-looking male said. “I clean up well, don’t I?”
As if the wind were knocked out of her, she gasped, “Yes, yes, you do.”
“I couldn’t let the royal family see me like I was before. It would be an insult.”
“I know, but, oh, my goodness, you are so… so,” she couldn’t find the words.
However, Joe did, “Thank you, Flossie.”
She hooked his wing and pulled him over to the side. She didn’t want the others to hear, “Listen, Joe, I was already going to ask you to stay regardless of how you looked, but now,” he could tell she was nervous because she kept switching from one leg to the other, something she never did. “ The thing is, Joe, you were right I am flawed, but you helped me see that. I would really like it if you would stay with me and point out whenever you see me acting rude again.”
“I don’t know,” he craned his neck as if he weren’t interested. “You know, I’m a bit of a free spirit. Besides, now that you’ve found the real you, your gonna be fine.”
“Please, Joe,” she begged.
Just then, the flock started to honk to announce the arrival of the royal family. Everyone got in line and prepared for the customary bow as the king and other members passed by. When they came to Flossie and Joe, they stopped.
Both birds cautiously looked up. The princess spoke, “I am sorry I put you through that ordeal, Flossie, but I just wanted to get away for a while.” She stopped speaking as both Flossie and Joe rose to meet her eyes. “But, I see Joe arrived just in time to save the day.”
“Yes, yes, he did,” Flossie answered softly.
“It’s good to see you again, son.” The king said to Joe.
“Thank you, Father. It’s good to see you and mother as well.
Flossie wanted to squawk with glee at finding out Joe was a prince, but she had learned her lesson; she kept her composure.
“Are you going to be staying with us long?” The queen asked her son.
Taking a long time to think about his answer and then taking a good long look at Flossie the Flawless Flamingo, he answered softly, “Yes, I think I will be staying for a while, Mother.”
And stay he did. He and Flossie were joined and never left each other again. Ordinary Joe eventually became king of the flock, and he and his queen ruled for a long, long time. Did Flossie’s former attitude rear its ugly head again? The answer is no. At least, not until they had children, but then that is another story.
