It’s a rainy Monday as I start this The Other Day…for April 20th, 2022. I have to tell you, every time I write one of these for my daughter’s death day and it rains, I can’t help but think it’s the universe telling all parents who have lost children before their time, “We feel your pain on this day.” It’s been eleven years since we were forced to say goodbye to our little girl. However, her spirit is alive and well in my mind. Although, if I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a million times, “It seems like she just died just yesterday, but it feels like she’s been gone forever.”
I am not writing this to give you a resounding “DOWNER.” Nope, my daughter would never stand for that. Instead, I want you to think about that one person who makes you happy to get up every day. The person who, if you made a mistake, you are forgiven the moment you made it. You don’t dance until this person says, “C’mon, honey (In my case it was ‘dad’), let’s dance,” and you start swinging one another around the room. Maybe the person can make you laugh with just a look or a comment. If you know someone like that (maybe you are looking at them right now), stop what you are doing and embrace them. Don’t give them a reason, just hug them and tell them how important they are to you.
My little girl and I only had two really bad arguments that I can remember in her brief 21 and a half years on this earth. Both were about boys and dating. Until she started high school, I was her HERO. After that, she gravitated more to her mother because I became Protector Dad, trying to keep her safe from all those conniving boys I feared would take advantage of her youthful innocence. However, in my heart, I know that all she ever wanted out of her life was for someone to love her just the way she was. That’s all any of us could ask for. Boy, did she have a lot to offer someone.
She liked being a redhead, but she experimented a lot. One time, her mother helped her achieve a cotton candy look in her hair, one part blue and one part pink (She did like pink). What she wouldn’t do to achieve a look. Personally, I always thought she looked terrific as a blonde, but she didn’t like it much. In my eyes, she looked amazing. I guess what I’m trying to say here is, don’t be afraid to try new things. My daughter loved trying new things, and if she was afraid, we didn’t know it. I loved her fierce, adventurous spirit, and I miss it every day.
Yeah, this is a hard essay to write because it is a reminder that she’s no longer with us. The truth is, I’m getting a little anxious about the day I will see her again. I’ve never been one who has wanted to die. And, believe me, I’m not going to rush anything. However, I know what’s waiting for me once it is my time to exit this earth. (I even wrote a short story about it entitled, “Hospice”). Also, when I was out last week, I found several pennies lying on the ground. Whenever I find them, I always pick them up and hold them close. My wife and I have always believed finding pennies was a sign from our little girl that she was thinking about us. It brings us a brief moment of comfort. If you don’t understand what I’m talking about, then you can go to my blog and look up, “Pennies From Heaven.” That will explain it.
You should know that I am writing this a couple of days early so I don’t have to worry about finding the right words to say on Alison’s Death Day. Just know, even though there will always be a certain amount of sadness in our hearts, my family and I are fine. We believe our daughter is in a good place, and all is good for us right now.
As I get ready to end this essay, I know my daughter wouldn’t want me to go before I said, “Stay safe, stay well, and may you have a day that is full of Roses, Rainbows, and Wild Flowers.” She liked all those things. MUH!!
