For those of you who don’t know me, I try to be a helpful person. However, along with the helpfulness comes a certain amount of carelessness. Allow me to explain. The Other Day, my wife and I were coming home from the gym. I had already parked my car and was waiting for my good woman to park right next to me. My wife has a bad hip, so I try to stay close by to help her if needed. So, I grab her lunch bag, purse, and our two gym bags, and we start walking down the hill to our basement apartment (long story).
Earlier that day I had removed a ton of bush branches and stacked all of them up into a burn pile. I knew that some of the branches had fallen onto the blacktop, but I never picked them up. I figured I would get to it later. Anyway, we were walking down the driveway when my wife slowed and started staring down at a branch. I reacted by saying, “I dropped a bunch of branches today and haven’t gotten around to picking them up yet. Let me get that one out of the way.”
I walked over and set the four bags I was carrying on the cement wall so I could take care of the branch. Meanwhile, my wife spoke up, “I don’t think that’s a branch. I think that’s a snake.” Did I listen? NNNOOOoooo!! I go like I always do, full steam ahead. At first, I tried to scoot it out of the way with my shoe. I tried from two different directions, and still the stick didn’t move. It was when I started to reach down with my hand that the stick actually DID turn out to be a snake and leaped toward my hand. I moved away quickly, let me tell you. I stood up and jumped back and gave a shout of surprise. While I stood shivering, my wife, in all her wisdom, said, “I tried to tell you.”
After I went inside and made sure I didn’t need to change my shorts, I went back and moved the snake to the great beyond. I was heard saying, “Goodness Gracious, Great Snakes Alive.” That’s the first decent pun I’ve had in a long, long time. I hope you can appreciate it. I also hope you are better at telling the difference between a stick and a snake than I am. It turns out it can be a pretty handy survival skill. Until next time, have an exhilarating day, and “watch your step.” MUH!!
